New Year's Resolutions

As 2013 draws to a close, I wanted to wish each of you a blessed & Happy New Year!

2013 was filled with incredible memories for me:

• I graduated Undergraduate and Graduate School in ONE DAY 
• I traveled cross country with D in his Mazda for a grand total of 9,000 miles
• I took a summer off to go to the beach
• I found a job in my field, which I am so fortunate to have!
• I moved into my first real girl apartment with a good friend
• I paid my first bill
• I celebrated my Golden Birthday! I am so happy to be 24 (It's my lucky #)

On a sad note, I was also witness to the Boston Marathon Bombing, as I volunteered at the finish line that day. Also, my loving and beautiful dog, Lily, passed away earlier this year.

I am so grateful that my incredible memories far outshine the painful memories of this year. I hope the same for you!

My New Year's Resolutions for this year will be to continue to cross items off of my 101 in 1001 list. Also, I plan to rid myself of people who I secretly despise in my life. I wish to surround myself with people who are going to lift me higher to reaching my goals and dreams.

If you are having trouble coming up with a resolution, take a look a the links below.

20 Things to Let Go of Before the New Year

25 New Year's Resolutions Everyone Should Follow

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Only The Good Die Young

12 years ago today, my family and I lost a very dear person in our lives--my Uncle George. Thinking of you today. Your spirit is never forgotten.

xoxo

The F Word

Hey everyone, another guest post from Adriana!

What does a feminist look like?

A lesbian, who doesn’t shave her armpits, and screams about how “men suck!”…right?

Wrong, actually. I am a feminist. And yes, sometimes I prefer to shower every couple of days and shaving is usually a tremendous success for me, but my hygiene routine has nothing to do with my beliefs on gender equality. In my opinion, feminism has received a bad name in the media. Instead of “feminism” being a word describing determination, strength, courage, and equality, it has become a word to describe bitchiness, loudness, annoyance, and a joke.

The real definition of feminism is the desire for the complete equality of men and women. That’s it. No gimmicks. No men hating. Just equality! Not so extreme, right?

Although this stress-free definition is the true meaning of feminism, women and men seem afraid to label themselves as it because of the stereotypes. Well, I’ve decided that my life will be best served if I stand up for what’s important to me and to society. If I, a relatively “normal” person, can identify as a feminist, then hopefully others won’t be so afraid to join the cause.

You might be wondering… “What is there to fight for? Aren’t we equal? Hey, we have voting rights!” True, my friends. But there is still a lot of ground we need to cover. And in my opinion, it’s the small things that individual people have the power to change! For example, if you’re a woman…Do you ever feel worried about walking alone at night because you’re wearing a short skirt? Do you casually omit your opinions in front of guys out of fear of rejection? Do you hear “feminine” terms used as derogatory insults for men? Do you feel as though your worth is your body, in the eyes of men and the media? These are small examples that I’ve noticed from my life. All I want is to feel safe, respected, and validated as a person.

I want to embrace the term “feminism” to shatter the glass ceiling for women in all domains of life. Women and men should be able to pursue whatever brings them happiness. Although women face critiques in the public and private spheres often, men also have a role to fulfill: a tough, autonomous, “masculine” demeanor. If men represent any kind of emotional competence, automatically they will be considered homosexual. The small boxes of masculinity and femininity create unhappiness because they are unattainable standards. I try to use my knowledge of feminism to promote acceptance of all behaviors of men and women, without the strict guidelines of masculinity and femininity.

Summary on how to use our gender knowledge:

• Accept the behaviors and activities of men and women (ex. Little boys learning ballet, fuck yeah! Adult women taking control of their sexuality, rock on!)
• Feminism is the desire for the complete equality of men and women! (Promote this accurate definition. If you’re interested in learning more, the links below are awesome and interesting resources!)
• Do you. Don’t let gender restrictions control your life. Act the way you feel and eventually the dichotomous gender boundaries will start to blur, and society will begin to accept all forms of identity expression.

Peace & Love,
Adriana

Some interesting videos and websites:

Miss Representation

Women in the Media

The Daily Show

We Should all be Feminists

I am a Feminist

Tough Guise

Invest in Positive Friendships

Hey everyone, another guest post from Adriana!

You could call me a true optimist. During good or bad situations, I always believe that the Universe planned my life to happen that way. Even in a downright awful circumstance, I think the situation can be manipulated once I change my cognitions about it.

However, there are days when people are sucking the life out of me. All I want to do is cry, verbally abuse them on Facebook, or leave an angry voicemail to get my point across. I get frustrated; I try to cope; and, sometimes, I forget the skills to overcome this negativity.

But then, clarity strikes. I see the negative people as they are: Negative. Never changing. Soul-sucking. Fucking horrible. I realize that their pessimism is exactly why I got rid of them in the first place.

In middle school and high school, it is acceptable to keep friends who serve you no purpose. They may be gossipers, arrogant, self-absorbed, or ignorant, but you keep them around anyways. Worst of all, you never stand up to them. You let them bully others and even yourself. You begin to believe their bullshit banter and you leave your opinions in the dust because of fear. The fear of rejection. But, as you age, you realize, “WHY AM I FRIENDS WITH ASSHOLES?”

Great question, right? Why do we settle for shitty friends? Guess what! We don’t have to. There is a choice involved. As Oprah once said, “Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher.” Let’s dedicate our time to those who bring us support, love, and acceptance. It’s important to be surrounded by those who celebrate your achievements as though they are rejoicing their own. Mumford & Sons has a song, “Awake My Soul,” which lyrics say: “And where you invest your love, you invest your life.” So, let’s invest our love wisely. Get rid of the negative people.

But if you don’t trust me, trust Miley when she says...

“Forget the haters, 'cause somebody loves ya.”

Peace & Love,

Adriana

Making Peace With Yourself Post Breakup

Hey everyone, another guest post from my sister, Adriana!

I don’t know about you, but my transition into college wasn’t as smooth as I had expected. I had recently broke up with my boyfriend of 2.5 years, left my hometown in New Hampshire and my best friends, and moved to Boston to start a new life (Cue the song Boston by Augustana!). I thought this new adventure would be pretty easy. I have an outgoing personality, so I figured I would make a huge friend group within weeks that resembled my crazy friends from back home. Well, I did make a bunch of new friends with all different perspectives and personalities but not necessarily the group of partygoers and heart-to-heart seekers as I pride myself to be. However, these people, thankfully, were my sanity during a rough period of my life at 18-years-old during a sort-of quarter-life-crisis.

To hide my semi-depressive emotions and newly found anxieties, I jumped right into psychology classes, a program to teach underprivileged preschoolers, and a student group that my sister was involved with. These activities kept me incredibly busy, so my mind didn’t have time to process or care about my unhappiness in Boston. On the weekends, I would avoid my pain by getting so drunk and trying to find cute guys to get my mind off of my ex. This usually would result in shitty pizza (Go BHOP!) and vomiting the next morning. Casual, casual times.

After two years of venting sessions, tears, drunken calls, and an on-again/off-again relationship, I finally realized that my high school relationship was just that: a high school relationship that should stay in high school. It was April of my sophomore year of college and the bad vibes and stress of my previous relationship were finally in the fucking past. But, something was still lingering in my mind. Anxiety and occasional bits of depression. It’s strange…when you’re going through a break-up, all of your behaviors are directed to your happiness and recovery. I would go to the gym all the time, download new music, read intriguing books, and make time for friends. However, once you’re over the relationship, those self-loving behaviors go out the window. That’s exactly what happened the spring of my sophomore year. I wasn’t proactive about my happiness anymore. I was dormant. Additionally, my unhappiness translated in to my social life. I didn’t want to meet new people or go to parties. I was content with spending time with the same old people and doing the same old things. To make it worse, I went home to New Hampshire all the time to hide the fact that I hated my social life in Boston.

After spending a significant amount of time with my best friends from New Hampshire, I learned some critical lessons. Be who you are. Be crazy. Be weird. Be smart. Be philosophical. Be fucking you. If people can’t hang with your fantastic qualities, fucking PEACE! It’s strange, I know my personality is sometimes larger than life…and I always felt like I had to underplay it. I was worried I was too much to handle. But whooooo cares?! Here are some quotes that I re-blogged on my tumblr page that have really reflected my consciousness recently:

"There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” - Nelson Mandela 

"There are times when you don’t know yourself. There are times when you don’t want to know yourself. There are times when you want to be what you have never allowed yourself to be before." - Aidan Chambers

"Stop being tormented by everyone else’s reaction to you." - Joyce Meyer

"Self belief does not necessarily ensure success, but self disbelief assuredly spawns failure." -Albert Bandura

"There is no beauty without some strangeness." - Edgar Allan Poe 

"One of the greatest journeys in life is overcoming insecurity and learning to truly not give a shit." - J.A. Konrath

“If you cannot find a group whose consciousness matches your own, be the source of one. Others of like consciousness will be drawn to you.”  -Neale Donald Walsch

In this last quote from Neale Donald Walsch, I have taken his advice. I have become a person who is true to myself. Eventually, I will find a group of people that reflect my consciousness. Luckily, I already have some fantastic friends who do! In 2011, I embarked unknowingly in to a philosophical journey that led my soul back to they way it felt when I was 12. I’m that crazy kid again, just trying to generate some laughs and save the world through psychology. Who knew it would take a heartbreak, a change of scenery, and some philosophical lessons to get my soul back to its comfort zone. Thank God.

Peace & Love,

Adriana

Setting Intentions

Happy Monday y'all!

Hope your weekend was fun-filled and fabulous. Onto another work week, and the countdown to the holidays continues. I find it hard to believe that 2013 is slowly coming to an end. It seems like just a few weeks ago that I graduated with my Masters and D and I went on our epic road trip.

Seeing that the year is almost over, it's time to start think about New Years resolutions. I know it's cliche to set New Years resolutions, but I'm a fan. It keeps me focused and driven to accomplish something outside of work. As you may know, I already keep a list of 101 things to do in 1001 days. I'll admit, I haven't been the best about updating my list. This will soon change...

From now on, every Monday, I plan to jot down a weekly intention. This intention, big or small, will be a goal that I wish to accomplish by the end of the week. I came interested in the idea of setting a weekly intention during a recent yoga class. Our yoga instructor had us set an intention to accomplish by the end of the class. Mine was to not give up during those intense poses and keep focused on my breath. Seems easy, but I worked hard to accomplish that intention.

I ask you to set a weekly intention with me. I always found that if I had someone holding me accountable for my goals that I was more likely to follow through with them.

My intention this week is to drink 8 glasses of water each day.

A beautiful sunset to get your week off to a good start.

Good luck setting your intention and resolutions! I'm excited to share my Christmas gift guide for the ladies tomorrow! Did you see the men gift guide?

Adriana's December Playlist

Hey everyone! Happy Monday! Enjoy another guest post from Adriana!

I am obsessed with finding music, old and new, that hits an emotional hot spot. Here are some songs that I’ve been listening to recently which have sparked my interest. I hope that one song will be unfamiliar to you and could possibly connect with you somehow. Shout-out to my friends who showed me these songs in the first place! Enjoy J

Adriana’s December Playlist 

Romantic Power Ballad: Lay Me Down by Sam Smith

Instrumental Jam: Ocean by John Butler

I Still Love You Song: Video Games by Lana Del Ray

Feelin’ Funky: Funky Tonight by John Butler Trio

Perseverance Song: Hold On by Alabama Shakes

I Moved On Song: Lesson Learned by Alicia Keys feat. John Mayer

Let’s Drunk-Dance Song: Latch by Disclosure feat. Sam Smith

I Love You Song: Love On Top by Beyonce

Casual Rock: Revelry by Kings of Leon

Sleepy Time Jazz: What Am I To You by Norah Jones

Kick-Ass Girl Jam: Another Girl by Wild Belle

Work-Out Song: Wild For The Night by ASAP Rocky feat. Skrillex & Birdy Nam Nam

Best 90’s Flashback Song: Wannabe by The Spice Girls

Current fav. John Mayer Song: On The Way Home by John Mayer

You’re Drunk & You See Your Ex: Hurricane Drunk by Florence + the Machine

You can listen to this playlist on Spotify here

Peace & Love,

Adriana